The following are stations to help break up the work of revision. While not every station might apply to you, keep in mind that the more effort you put into the process the better off you'll be. The portfolio is a major grade.
Station One: Introductions
In your notebook, write a new introduction to your paper. This introduction needs to set up your content (topic) and context (type of analysis), thus allowing the essay to stand alone without the reader knowing the assignment.
Remember, an attention-getter needs to make the reader want to read the essay. Recall the different types of AGs we tried out in class:
Some Leads to Try
* Anecdote: a brief story that captures the essence of the issue or situation; painting a picture for the reader using vivid details
* Interesting fact: something that will really make the reader think (make sure it relates to your topic)
* Any sentence that really makes the reader want to continue reading.
* Question: should put the reader on the spot and make that person consider what the answer would be
Some Leads to Avoid, Please
* A dictionary definition (“Webster’s defines conformity as…”): that is boring
* A sweeping generalization
* A lead that isn’t focused (“Adoption programs in this country have some flaws. They aren’t completely bad, but they need to be dealt with. There are a couple of things I’m concerned about, even though, overall, adoption is a good thing.”): the reader is lost and confused before the writer has even started the essay
Station Two: Conclusions
In your notebook, write a new conclusion to your paper. This should wrap up your paper.
Some Conclusions to Try
* Instruction: what can the reader can do about the issue?
* Prediction: an insight into how the future could be different, better, or worse
* Anecdote: a brief story that reiterates the essence of the issue or situation
* What you learned: tell us what new understandings you came to by writing this paper
* Book-ending: circles back to the lead. Reread your introduction and connect your ending to it in some way (Don’t repeat the intro!).
Conclusions to Avoid
* Repetition of the introduction. We already read it. Use the conclusion as a space to say something new.
“Only rarely in effective writing is the closing a formal summary in which the person repeats … what has already been said.” --Donald Murray
Station Three: Layering
Read through your paper and the comments your readers have given you. Where do your readers want to know more? Pick one spot.
Now that you’ve picked that spot, write to fill in the gap. What do your readers want to know? Guided by their questions, write all of your thoughts on the topic for 5 minutes.
Station Four: Pruning
Like a good gardener, your job at this station is to prune your essay, getting rid of the weeds your readers can get tangled in when reading your paper.
OPTION A:
Read through your readers’ comments. Are there any places where they seem to be confused? Decide whether or not those confusing parts are necessary.
* If they’re necessary, try rewriting them and focusing on being specific, showing your readers what you mean and not just telling them (don’t write that Walter Scanlon was a good person—show us why he was a good person).
* If they’re not necessary, get rid of them!
OPTION B: Pick a page or paragraph to focus on, one that troubles you or your readers. Does that paragraph/page tie to the main focus of your paper?
* If it ties to the focus, how? How might you make it more clear to your readers? Try rewriting part of the page or the paragraph.
* If it doesn’t tie to the focus, pitch it!
Station Five: Slow down on a “hot spot”
Skim through your paper and find a place where you think you’re onto something (a page, a paragraph, even a sentence or two). It should be a place where you feel you express your ideas well and have a lot to say (if you can’t find a place on your own, review your readers’ comments to find out where they felt you were onto something).
Now write, for about 5 or 10 minutes, expanding on your ideas. What else do you have to say? How might you add more detail to further prove your point? Could you include more evidence? What else comes to mind? Write down everything you can.
Station Six: Using Evidence Meaningfully
Recall that:
Evidence = the facts or examples that back up your claims. Without evidence, a paper is merely unsubstantiated opinion.
STEP ONE: Find a place where you have used evidence from some source (personal experience, an interview, a reading, your research).
STEP TWO: Your role as a writer is like the role of a lawyer in a court of law. When you introduce evidence, you must tell the jury--your readers--why this evidence supports your argument.
Remember the formula: Introduce the evidence; Cite the evidence; Explain the significance of the evidence
STEP THREE: Check to make sure everything in your paper is set up well.
Station Seven: Reverse Outlining
Go through your paper as it is now and create an outline. You should clearly list the main focus of each paragraph and what the sub points are in those paragraphs.
If you cannot come up with a single main focus for each paragraph, you have an issue.
After looking at this reverse outline, figure out if this is the best way to arrange your ideas. Does your order allow the reader to logically follow what you are trying to say? Do any points require the reader to already know something? Is that information earlier or later?
Station Eight: Considering Comments
At this station, take out the all of the comments you received on this essay (peer comments, teacher comments, Write Place comments, etc.).
STEP ONE: Spend some time carefully re-reading the comments you received.
STEP TWO: Take out a piece of paper and write down some things you heard repeated. These can be good things (everyone loved your introduction) or suggestions (Did your peers and the teacher have questions about organization? Was there a paragraph, sentence, or page that confused many readers?).
STEP THREE: Think about how you might address these patterns. Is there a part you should definitely keep? Are there certain areas that need special attention?
STEP FOUR: Jot down a quick game plan for revision. What will you work on? Make notes for yourself on that piece of paper.
